How Photographing Myself Changed Everything | Houston Boudoir Photography
I attended the wedding of one of my oldest friends. It was held in Round Top, Texas and it was exceptional in every way, full of Texas flair and thoughtful details that made the entire experience feel elevated and warm all at once. When you walked into the barn reception, you were greeted with caviar and champagne. Edison bulb light strands glowed overhead, casting a soft warmth across the space while Texas music played in the background and the hum of conversation and laughter filled the air. The bars were buzzing as drinks were passed across the counter, and the room was filled with beautiful people dressed in high end western wear, furs, custom hats, and boots that looked like they had stories of their own.
I may be from Texas, but I do not own a ranch, horses, or western wear. So I arrived true to myself in an evening gown and stilettos.
Leading up to the wedding, I was low-key panicking about what I would wear but as a busy business owner and mom, I didn’t have too much time to worry. I do not attend many beautiful events and my closet reflects that. I panic ordered five, maybe seven dresses and hoped one would feel right. I ordered new shoes that would have been perfect for the look, but I also packed a pair of heels I can walk miles in because experience has taught me better. Five years ago, the anxiety of attending an event like this might have been enough for me to cancel altogether. That is one of the gifts of getting older. You stop caring as much about being judged. If someone is going to look at my shoes and form an opinion about me, then they are not someone I need in my life anyway. So I decided to wear what I wanted.
When I got dressed, I looked in the mirror and thought, not bad for a woman quickly approaching fifty. A couple of years ago, I would have been much harsher with myself. What has changed is not my body, but my relationship with it.
Over the past several months, I started photographing myself with the full intention of changing how I see myself. If you have been in my world for any amount of time, you know I truly loathe being photographed. I am passionate about making women feel confident and beautiful in front of the camera, but put me there and I want to disappear. After having twins and entering perimenopause, my body changed in ways I did not recognize. For nearly eight years, I have felt like a foreigner in my own body. No amount of dieting or exercising seemed to bring me back to the version of myself I remembered.
So I tried something different. I began photographing myself a couple times a month, almost like exposure therapy. Sometimes it is only a few images, nothing elaborate. When I look back at those photos, I realize that my body is not nearly as bad as my mind tells me it is. The way I view my body is not how others view it. That realization has given me more confidence to be social, to show up, to wear clothes I once avoided, and most importantly to feel connected to my body again. That reconnection has even carried into my marriage. When I feel desirable, I want intimacy, closeness, and connection.
When I got back to my hotel room that night, I photographed myself. Those images will only increase in value as I continue to age. They are reminders of where I was, how I felt, and how brave it was to show up anyway.
Back to the wedding, I spent the evening catching up with women I had not seen in twenty years and meeting new friends along the way. What struck me most was how similar our inner dialogue sounded. Nearly every woman admitted to feeling insecure about her body or unsure if her outfit was right for the event. One woman told me she almost canceled because she broke her toe and could only wear slides. She was worried she would not fit in. Another friend convinced her to come and reminded her that no one would be judging her shoes. And even if they were, those opinions did not matter.
Were there people there judging others? Maybe, but they were not our people so who really cares?
So take the photos. Wear the outfit. Dance how you want. No one is watching you as closely as you think. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines waiting to feel perfect. Show up anyway. Live fully. Be happy.
If this resonated with you and you want more conversations like this, you can follow along on Instagram where I share behind the scenes moments, real stories, and what confidence actually looks like in everyday life. You are also welcome to join my VIP Facebook Group, a space for women who are navigating similar chapters and learning to reconnect with themselves without pressure.
If you are curious about how a boudoir session can transform the way you see yourself, I would love to talk with you. You can reach out to me here.
Love, Tiffany, your very real boudoir photographer
